Another (Tasty) Reason To Vote
© David Volk

Yes, I know I didn't do election rants this weekend, but I didn't have the time. Not only was I busy all day yesterday continuing to work on family business, I also was involved in a duel on Saturday.

A packing duel.

It was a head-to-head duel between me and national suitcase packing expert Anne McAlpin for my new humor column in AAA Journey Magazine that debuts in January. I'm told it will be at the back of the magazine. While I'm not at liberty to say how things came out, I can say that those of you who know me won't be all that surprised by the results. In fact, I'm putting off writing the story just to finish this rant.

Having said all that, I have been debating whether to talk issues today or tell you about some cool stuff you can get if you vote. It's not like there aren't plenty of new issues to mention. For example, in addition to not understanding "exactly what a Vice President does every day," Sara Pailin just showed she didn't understand the Constitution last week when she claimed that the press was trying to take away her first amendment rights to free speech. How? By accusing her of negative campaigning. Um...yeah. The first amendment actually guarantees the press and the people the right to question their leaders, but apparently, by actually reporting the truth for once, the press has actually infringed on Pailin's ability to do what?...Lie. Sarah, honey, you're still free to lie like a rug all you want, but maybe if you'd stayed at one of the five colleges you attended long enough to take a civics class, you might understand what the Constitution actually says.

Oh, and then there's the spelling thing. Last week, the McCain campaign apparently forgot to use that new-fangled computer spell check when it included the word "everbody" in an ad featuring Joe The Plumber

And this weekend, another television ad claimed that Joe Biden was "ready to exagerrate."

Great, so now McCain is apparently courting the ignorant vote as well.

I knew if I focused too much on that stuff and waited until tomorrow to tell you about THREE FREE THINGS YOU CAN GET IF YOU VOTE, you wouldn't have enough time to get them.

So, here's the news. STARBUCKS ( is giving away a FREE CUP OF BREWED COFFEE if you come in and say you voted, KRISPY KREME is giving away a FREE STAR SHAPED DONUT ( to anyone who has comes in with an "I Voted" sticker and BEN & JERRY'S is giving out FREE SCOOPS FROM 5 P.M. TO 8 P.M. ( on election day.

From a man who is hoping for one more free offer so he can get a free meal--

David H(ungry for more) Volk

P.S. If you hear of any more free offers, send them to me and I'll post them later today or early tomorrow.

P.P.S. Yes, there is a possibility I might have misspelled something in this rant about spelling. You can call me a hypocrite, but you know what? I'm not running for president.