An Immodest Proposal
© David Volk
people’s business seems to be high-toned.
I got all that I can do just to mind my own,
Why don’t you mind your own business?…
Mind your own business,
If you mind your business, you’ll stay busy all the time.”
--from “Mind Your Own Business” by Hank Williams.
The right wing “pro-life” protestors are right: Convictions are important.
And they’ve served years for every one of them.
No, wait, that doesn’t sound right. What I meant to say is, it is important to have convictions and core values. I also feel that, these days, it’s not enough to just believe in something. It’s important to take action to show you are committed to those values.
Which is why I admire anti-abortion activists so much. They not only feel that every human life is important, they are willing to take to the streets to protest in favor of the sanctity of human life, harass people who haven’t been enlightened yet and kill those that disagree with them.
Unfortunately, I don’t think they’re going far enough. If they really value the lives of the unborn children that desperate women want to abort, I think they should start an Adopt-A-Fetus program.
If you think about it, my proposal makes perfect sense. Instead of just abandoning the sanctified life of a fetus once its born to a poor woman who wanted to abort it, each activist should agree to take an active role in the life of an individual child that was saved from the clutches of an evil abortionist. For starters, they should stop by every couple of weeks to check in and make sure the kid is doing okay. If it isn’t eating well because the child’s mother can’t afford to feed it, then they should buy some food for it, maybe take it out for a bite to eat at a nearby restaurant. If it’s living in unsafe conditions, they should help the child find a better apartment. If the fetus isn’t learning enough, they should pay to enroll it in a private school. The more expensive, the better. If they’re enrolled in a church school, so much the better, as long as it’s accredited and the fetus is learning something so it can go on and become a productive member of society.
Since anti-abortion activists say life is all about taking personal responsibility for our choices, I believe they should take action to back up their convictions and take responsibility for the lives they’ve intervened in. If they refuse to help out and the fetus turns bad and commits a crime, well, then, they too should share in the blame and receive the same prison sentence as accessories before the fact.
If the wife and I are fussin’, brother that’s our right,
‘Cause me and that sweet woman’s got a license to fight.
Why don’t you mind your own business?
Mind your own business,
‘Cause if you mind your business, then you won’t be mindin’ mine….”
The nice thing about my proposal is that it can also be extended to the Terri Schiavo case. This program couldn’t be called “Adopt-A-Fetus,” though and “Adopt-A-Persistent Vegetative State Patient” would seem to be too much of a mouthful. Not only that, but shortening it to “Adopt-A-Veg” would be in bad taste. One of the benefits of this program would be that activists who participate wouldn’t have to worry about being held responsible for any of the crimes their adoptee commits, for obvious reasons.
One rule would remain the same in the persistent vegetative state program, however. Each protestor who supports the continued treatment of someone like Schiavo should be willing to pay for that person’s treatment. And I don’t mean just passing around the hat, pooling resources, getting each person to chip in a few dollars and hoping there’s enough to cover it. I mean each person should be willing to belly up to the bar and pay the complete cost themselves. There would still be consequences for failure to pay, though. If even one protestor missed a payment, all life support would be removed immediately without any chance for restoration.
(This approach may sound brutal, but it’s no more brutal than the law passed by their hero, St. George of Crawford, the patron saint of death row inmates, when he was governor of Texas. In case you weren’t paying attention when he signed it, the law allows health care facilities to pull the plug on patients in persistent vegetative states when the family can’t afford to continue treatment even if the family disagrees with the decision and the patient has left a living will requesting continued treatment.)
After all, if the protestors feel the issue is so important, they should be willing to pay the costs themselves without complaining about it because, as they themselves would tell you, one can never put a price tag on the sanctity of human life. Unless, of course, they have to foot the bill.
From a man who would prefer to just mind his own business,
David G(‘day mate) Volk