Odds and Ends
© David Volk

I went to a Dave Barry reading this week and saw a man in the crowd with a video camera. One wonders what action he hopes to capture. The thrill of the reading or the excitement of turning pages?

I am proud about the fact that not once over the last few months have I mentioned the California recall election. I plan to continue this policy until it’s over . In fact, I didn’t even mention it here.

When I wrote my recent rant about my time in Las Vegas, I forgot to mention some of the people who never even made it to has-been status because they never were. Boston mystery writer Al Blanchard told me about Harry the Hat, a big-lidded guy who was regaling a crowd of happy looking 90 year olds with covers of old Garth Brooks songs like “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places.” I assume the blissful look on their faces came from having turned down their hearing aids before the show started.

I would point out that Dave Barry thinks there’s been so much national coverage of the California recall that every U.S. citizen should be able to vote in this week’s election, but if I did that, it would break my promise not to mention the three ring circus to the south of here, so I won’t do it.

Stop me if I’ve said this before, but am I the only person who thinks that the bravest Democrats in the country are the ones in Texas who turned tale and ran rather than be railroaded by a Republican legislature?

The news that Rush Limbaugh is being investigated for drug abuse and involvement in illegal sale of prescription pain pills struck me as a happy irony. It’s good to know that liberals aren’t the only ones who find him to be a pain in the rear. Apparently, he does too….

A U.S. weapons inspector’s report that there have been no weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq has prompted GW Bush to say that the report may not prove that Saddam Hussein had any WMDs, but it shows that Hussein was a threat to the U.S. This is yet another attempt by Bush to back away from his explanation that we had to invade Iraq because of the Hussein’s involvement in the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center and his possession of WMDs. Two weeks ago Bush said there was no connection between Saddam and the World Trade Center attacks, now he’s backing away from WMDs as being the reason for the war.

At the rate he’s been backing away lately, I figure it will only be a matter of weeks before he either claims there is no war in Iraq, that U.S. forces were invited into the country or starts saying that Bill Clinton launched the invasion.

Once the weapons inspector’s report came out, one of Bush’s aides jumped to his defense and said that despite the report, the truth would eventually come out. He’s right. It already has. There were no weapons of mass destruction. What part of no doesn’t he understand?

I’m not saying Seattleites are easy, but Dave Barry got a standing ovation for singing his Tupperware Song, a blues number praising containers that burp. The last time I gave someone a standing ovation I was at a Rock Bottom Remainders concert. And even then it was only because there weren’t any chairs to sit in.

Happy Jewish New Year and here's hoping your fast is easy, especially if you aren't Jewish and don't fast,