Oh, yeah? Well you're a poopy head...
© David Volk
My election rant is late today because....well....because I'm having trouble thinking up something new or funny to say. And for good reason. There's nothing new being said.
At this point, listening to the give and take between the two sides is about as much fun as listening to two kids bicker, especially when one of the children is older and maybe a grade or two ahead of the other.
I'm not a parent, so I can't say I have extensive experience with bickering kids, but I've had enough to know the pattern when I see it.
It typically starts when one forwards an opinion about whether, say, Godzilla could beat Mothra (or is that Murtha? I'm not really sure.) It is, no doubt, what passes for an educated opinion based on the kid's level of expertise and maybe even his world view. Ever the contrarian, the kid's brother will contradict him either because he believes otherwise or just for the sheer sport of it. If the conversation/dispute gets any deeper than "Uh huh" and "nuh uh," an interesting thing happens. Because one of the diminutive debaters is usually either smarter, has a larger vocabulary or can argue rings around his opponent, the outwitted kid resorts to the only strategy left to someone without a valid defense. See if you can guess what it is based on this discussion I recently heard between two kids.
Child #1: I've been looking around, you know, and, like, I don't think the economy is doing that well.
Child #2: Nuh-uh. I don't think so. The fundamentals of the economy are, like, strong. Know what I mean?
Child #1: Yuh-huh. The ice cream store closed yesterday and the candy store has a for sale sign.
Child #2: Don't be silly. the owner closed it because he wanted to 'kay? The fundamentals are strong.
Child #1: Then why did a policeman padlock the door? And why can't mom and dad buy us stuff any more?
Child #2: Hmmm. because the fundamenta...um...er...um...because you're a poopy head.
Child #1: Maybe we should do something like save our money or give back part of our allowance...
Child #2: And you're a communist, too.
Okay, you two. It's time to make up and play nice or I'm going to have to separate the both of you and make you sit on opposite sides of the country until this ride is over.
--From a man who feels if you can't say something nice...pull up a chair and sit next to me.
David H(oping someone will say something new) Volk