Give yourself the gift of Seattle...
© David Volk
Are you still depressed over the state of this year1s holiday presents? Are you still bummed that you didn1t get exactly what you want or even anything resembling it? Are you still puzzling over who the hell thought it was a good idea to give you that stuffed "Heedly Pecked Me in the Head?"
Isn't it just enough to make you want to get out of town to get away from the embarrassment of it all?
Well, if it is, then you're in luck, Bub, cause I can help you.
While I might not be able to pick up the cost of your plane fare, rental car or even your night's lodgings, I can provide you with something almost as good: The entire city of Seattle. Cheap.
Yes, that's right, friends. I have a few remaining copies of Seattle's Best Places, featuring the Day Trips chapter by yours truly and I am willing to part with them for the measly, insignificant price of only $18.95 (plus shipping and fondling 'um' er..handling for those of you who live out of town. For those of you who live out of the country, I would happily deliver it myself. As long as you pay the plane fare).
For less than $19 you not only get an autographed copy of the book that has launched a thousand visits, you also get advice on local hotels, insight into the city's top restaurants, information on where the locals go to play, the skinny on the area's hottest night spots and, thanks to me, information on where to go when you just want to get the heck out of the city.
If you're an out-of-towner, it's an indispensable guide to the city jam-packed tighter than a spring snake in a fake can of peanuts with details that you never knew about the place you're about to visit.
And if you're a local, it's the ideal book to loan the house guests who have a kid that keeps complaining that he's bored because there's nothing to do, no where to go and absolutely nothing happening. After all, nothing says "please get the hell out of my house and do something already so I'll have a moment of sanity to myself" as politely as a copy of 'Seattle's Best Places' casually tossed on the pillow or near the table place setting of the relative who's driving you batty.
It may cost $5 to take the Boeing Plant Tour, $10 to visit the Woodland Park Zoo and $20 to get into the Experience Music Project, but the peace of mind a book like this will give you is priceless, my friend, positively priceless.
Now you can have it for the cost of one visit to the Experience Music Project. And the best part is, you don't have to pay sales tax because, quite frankly, who wants to buy tax?
So, get on the horn, hit the dial up connection, fire up the broadband cable, get jiggy with the DSL and send a check through the mail (unfortunately, I'm not equipped to process credit card payments because I wasn't born with a card reader and have decided against having one implanted). Don't forget to let me know how many copies you want.
And remember, if you order before midnight tonight - I'll put it in the mail a couple of hours early.