I admit it...I'm strange...
(c) David Volk 2008

Weird Man

For those of you who know me well, you know the last three years
haven't been exactly easy. I've been toiling away on trying to finish
up work on an estate that seems to have taken on a life of its own. Try
as I might to prevent it, there are times that it hangs over me like a

Before my mother died, I used to say, "Where there's a will, there's
usually a dead person." Now, I agree with a great uncle of mine who
says, "Where there's a will...there's usually a relative."

Still, I got the first sign that the end is near and odd sense of humor
is returning just now when I answered the phone and heard one of those
automated sales calls.

"Don't be afraid," the comforting female voice said. "Today may be the
last day to get low interest rates, but now's your chance to cash in.
Just press 1 on your key pad."

Normally, I'd just hang up. But not today.

I pressed "1" and waited for an actual human to come on the line.

Breathless and excited over the chance to cash in on this really great
offer, I could hardly wait until he finished giving his name, the name
of his company, his mother's maiden name and her favorite brand of
laundry detergent or whatever else it is telemarketers say when they
realize they have a live one on the other end of the line.

In fact, I cut in before he had a chance to finished.

"I'm afraid! I'm worried! I don't want to miss these really good

And then I hung up.

Okay, so I admit it's not the same as chasing after a man around the
block for leaving dog poop on my lawn, but it's something. I'm just not
sure what.


David H(oping to finish a new rant soon) Volk