Sad news from the casino circuit...
© David Volk

"Have you heard about the lonesome loser Beaten by the queen of hearts every time Have you heard about the lonesome loser He's a loser, but he still keeps on tryin' --From “Lonesome Loser” by Little River Band

Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but….

Say it ain’t so you Lonesome Loser,

I know you’re unlucky in love, that’s what they say,

You lost your head and you gambled your heart away.

And yes, I understand that it’s time for a cool change,

But if the whales and the albatross, they are your brothers, how, oh, how could you hit the casino circuit?

Those of you who have followed the rant over the years know I keep tabs on the casino concert circuit, the last resort of bands on their way out, has beens, never wases, wanna-bes and one-hit wonders. In case you haven’t noticed, casino concerts are the last stop on the road to Palookaville.

Although I don’t have time to keep up with popular culture any more—I thought the Casey Trial was a retelling of “Casey at the Bat” and that “The Jersey Shore” was a reference to the actual New Jersey coastline—I have been able to keep tabs on who’s on their way out by listening to radio ads for band appearances at local casinos.

Over the next two months, for example, the Emerald Queen Casino boasts 38 Special. Randy Travis. Charlie Daniels Band. Ted Nugent (for two nights!).

Need I say more?

In fact, I’ve been longing for the days when I see Britney Spears, Styx and Air Supply gracing casino marquees. Sadly, one of my favorite bands has taken the hit. Little River Band has now become another band on the path to (musical) purgatory. The band that brought you “Lady,” “Reminiscing,” “Happy Anniversary Baby,” “Help is on Its Way” and “Lonesome Loser” is now pounding nails in my heart.

That’s not the really upsetting thing, though. I’ve known the band was engaged in a last chance power drive for more than a year now.

No, the thing that’s even more upsetting to me is that they appeared in town last week and I wasn’t able to attend.

I mean, what’s the point of a really good train wreck if you’re not able to go and see it?

Hmmmm, maybe it’s time for a change for me, too.