Yeah, it makes me wonder....
© David Volk

I don't know about you, but there are times when I see things that just puzzle me and make me ask, "do people really do that?" Or, in this case, "do people really eat that?" When I first became editor of the Madison Park Times and Mercer Islander many years ago, I saw a grocery store circular for a South End store mentioning a sale on beef pizzle. If you're wondering what it is, well, if you stop and think about what it sounds like, you've pretty well got it figured out. Although what you'd use it for, I have no idea. Soup, maybe?

Then there was the time I was looking at the menu in an American Legion Hall in North Platte, Nebraska and came across something called Lamb Rings. Not knowing what they were, I asked the waitress and she looked both ways, held her order pad next to her mouth so other people couldn't hear and said, "You know, lamb nuts."

This, of course, reminds me of the time someone invited me to a party and told me that they were going to be serving Rocky Mountain oysters. I turned him down saying I couldn't eat them because shellfish aren't kosher. (Hey, how was I to know they were cow testicles? For some reason, when I was growing up, the subject just never came up.)

I mention all this because I saw a convenience store sign yesterday that once again made me scratch my head. No, it didn't mention anything related to genitals, but I found it puzzling nonetheless. It said, "Budweiser Family Pack, 18 count, $6.48." The first thing that occurs to me is, what kind of family is this?

Also, is the reason that it's so cheap because they have smaller beers for the kiddies who can't quite drink as much? And more importantly, considering that many people consider their dog part of the family, does the box include a dish for Barky or does he after drink it out of a can? (I can just see dad saying, "So what if he doesn't have opposable thumbs? It's just more for us.")

I also wonder what exactly are they trying to say here.

The family that gets blitzed together, fits together?

The family that drinks together, thinks together?

The family that gets bombed together loves mom together?

Just wondering.

David G(rasping for straws) Volk